[This one is pretty long but the words of wisdom from this young missionary is so worth your time to read the entire thing!]
To All I Love,
Enduring Through Trials:
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| Sister George and Sister Skaggs at Music and the Spoken Word |
Since being back here on Temple Square the Lord has shown me a lot of things. I would be lying if I said coming back here has been easy. I have to say these have been some of the hardest two weeks of my mission, spiritually and mentally. But at the same time I have learned and recognized so many things, which is hard but a tremendous blessing at the same time. I'm grateful for the trials I have received because it allows me so many opportunities to grow and deepen my conversion of the Gospel. You may wonder "How has it been so hard for her Spiritually?" I will just give you a glimpse as to what has occurred. Ever since I arrived back to Temple Square, two weeks ago as of yesterday, I have just been pounded spiritually and have been tested in a lot of different ways. Since being back I hadn't taught a real lesson in two weeks. Which is really hard as a missionary when your soul purpose is to help people come unto Christ. Part of that process is teaching the Gospel. For two weeks I had not taught a single lesson that would count in our Key Indicators. Yes, I had contacted people on the Square, I had been bold, I had invited, but nobody was accepting the message we had to share. The people Sis. George had been in contact with weren't replying back to us and so that was making things hard. After experiencing this for a couple of days we just figured we are getting used to each other and I'm just adjusting back too, it's understandable. Well a week goes by and we hadn't seen a single new investigator enter our teaching pool, nobody was answering their phones, every chat was an Anti or Troll and nothing was happening with the people we contacted on the Square. At this point I wasn't getting discouraged, but I honestly didn't know what was happening. Had heard from multiple sisters that the lack of a teaching pool was pretty common at the moment. Well, Sunday rolled around we had our weekly meetings with our District Leader. At that point I had recognized that the Lord was testing me to see if I had learned diligence and that despite the trial I was facing would I still persevere and be diligent or would I give up? I was talking to my District Leader and was expressing to her my feelings of how I hadn't really seen anything happen since being back and how as a missionary it's really hard to experience this. Sister Cano, my District Leader, and I talked about how things won't always be smooth sailing, in regards to the work, while we are on our missions. While we were talking I knew that I still hadn't hit the hardest part yet of this trial/test that I was experiencing. That night, I believe it was, Sis. George and I sat down together and just had a really long talk about all the things we can do to become even more diligent to really prove to the Lord that we weren't going to give up but that we are willing to do/sacrifice all it takes to be his representative. It was a really good conversation! We just sat there and expressed to one another about how hard it has been on both of our parts to see the work not happening for almost two weeks. We talked about what it was the Lord was teaching us and what he was expecting us to learn from this experience. Monday went by still, the same thing. Then Tuesday happened and honestly that is when I can say things just got plain hard and I "hit rock bottom". We were on exchanges for that day and in the morning when we went to the Teaching Center EVERY chat I took was an Anti, which is all I have gotten for two weeks straight which is really hard spiritually when you just get attacked left and right on the things you know to be true. It didn't shake my testimony but it spiritually drained me. I want to compare it to the end of the race, when you are just so tired you cannot move. That's what it finally felt like. That's all I had encountered for two weeks straight. Don't ask me how I took all the Anti or Troll chats, apparently I just did. That was when it just got hard. The feeling of just being spiritually drained is rough because it wipes you out across the board and no missionary wants to feel that way ever. I honestly can't describe how I felt, all I knew was if I want to be diligent I need to continue to press forward. The Lord is teaching me right now and I need to just press forward. Even if I feel like I can't move anymore that's when I get down on my knees and pray for his strength and help. I had to set appointments with some recent converts that day and so I had the hope and faith that you know I will get to talk with them all will be well, just press forward to that point and you will get to hear their voice and help them come closer to their Savior. Honestly, that's what I did. I kept that in mind all day and kept pushing forward. The first appointment rolls around, it falls through. I was like, "Okay, I can make it till 7 PM to talk to my next appointment." 7 PM rolls around as I'm calling them I get a text saying they just left and they would like to talk another day. At that moment I just can't describe what I was feeling. I was already spiritually drained from everything combined and to have two promising appointments now with converts fall through was just rough. That night I went home to Sis. George and was expressing to her about how hard this all was and how I don't know how long the Lord is going to have this trial occur for, but I know I must continue to be diligent even though everything is just wiping me out.
Don't worry there is a light to the end of the tunnel, I promise. As I was recognizing the trial placed in front of me and what I was being taught I was noticing everything I was reading for Personal Study and Companionship Study was focused on Enduring to the End. But a particular quote from this past General Conference really stood out to me a lot.
Few of us will ever endure an experience as harrowing as Sailor’s. But all of us will, at some time or another, have to traverse our own spiritual wilderness and undertake our own rugged emotional journeys. In those moments, however dark or seemingly hopeless they may be, if we search for it, there will always be a spiritual light that beckons to us, giving us the hope of rescue and relief. That light shines from the Savior of all mankind, who is the Light of the World.
Perceiving spiritual light is different from seeing physical light. Recognizing the Savior’s spiritual light begins with our willingness to believe. God requires that initially we at least desire to believe. “If ye will awake and arouse your faculties … and exercise a particle of faith,” the prophet Alma teaches, “yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of [the Savior’s] words.”
At some point in our lives we are each going to travel through our own spiritual wilderness. It is going to be hard but we must choose to search for that light, the light that will give us that hope and the relief to endure through those rough moments we will encounter. We feel like we can't go anymore, just like how I felt as if I couldn't go any further, but with Christ, we honestly can do all things.
As we were studying as a companionship this morning we came across
As we were studying as a companionship this morning we came across
Matthew 11:28-30
28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
As we reach out to the only one who knows, all that we have ever and will yet experience, he will help ease the burdens which are placed upon our backs.
There Is Hope For All Who Come Unto Christ, He WILL PROVIDE:
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| Mormon Tabernacle Choir |
This is where I can say there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel. Yesterday rolled around (Wed. April 29th) and I was meeting with Sister Cano in the morning to plan for our upcoming day we had of being on exchanges. As we were planning I just expressed to her how badly I just wanted to teach and ultimately just see the spirit work through me today and have the opportunity to witness someones life change. We planned for a miracle that we would encounter an individual who would want to always feel of God's love. Then our day started. One of the first things we did in the morning was we had our Teaching Center Time where we took a chat from an individual who had a particular question. We just got pounded. At the end I looked at her and said, "Sis. Cano this is ALL I have had for two weeks. EVERY chat has been like this. There is no way this can continue on. I'm just not letting this ruin the rest of my day." Sister Cano looked at me, "Really this is what you have experienced everyday?" I looked at her and said, "Yes, this is why I'm just so exhausted at all levels is because I'm encountering this for every chat I have taken and then you add to the fact I haven't had a real lesson for two weeks." She looked at me kind of shocked. But we decided we weren't going to let this person tear us down the rest of the day. The day pressed forward and then we witnessed miracles I couldn't imagine occur.
My MOOmy Came to Temple Square
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| Sister Skaggs and Sister George with Sister Skaggs' Moomy! |
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| Sister Skaggs and her mom (Sister Skaggs & Sister Skaggs!) |
One of the first miracles we encountered was my Mom. We had just finished Zone Meeting. It was about 3:30 and I find out from some sisters that this individual wanted to see me . I knew my mom would be in town because she was coming for a conference and I knew that she would probably try and hunt me down. But the Sisters were persistent it wasn't her. I get to where they are and no one is there wanting to see me. Five minutes roll around, then 10 minutes. I'm like, "I have to go. If the person still wants to see me then call me." We are headed out and near the entrance to the South Visitor Center when we decide we need to talk to this particular couple. We had been talking for about 10 minutes to them when I see behind them Sisters just acting weird. I was kind of confused but at the same time I knew something was probably up. Then a companionship walks by and mouths to me "your mom is at EF (Eternal Families) Desk". I then see on the reflection of the security booth a LADY in a COW COSTUME. Yah, I had no idea what to think. All that was running through my head is I need to talk to this couple, but my mom is going to run up to me in a Cow Costume, on Temple Square, while I'm serving my mission. Well it happened just like that! :) Next thing when we finished talking to the couple my mom comes running up to me, "Your MOOmy is here." Yah, I had flashbacks to college that's for sure... It was great seeing you mom!! FYI: ALL the SISTERS JUST LOVE YOU!!! When they heard what happened they mentioned how awesome you were to do that. Oh and they LOVE the cookies as usual! :)
A Miracle Tour:
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| Sister Cano, Julio & Sister Skaggs |
Right after I had said goodbye to my mom and was taking all 12 dozen of the homemade cookies she had made for the sisters downstairs to my locker, we get a call that a gentleman has been waiting for over 20 minutes for a Spanish tour and none of the sisters are taking it. Sister Cano spoke Spanish so we decided to take it. His name is Julio from Mexico. We began taking Julio around and Sister Cano mentioned to me that I would do all the speaking and she would just translate. I was at first a little nervous because I hadn't taken a language tour for a long time. We get inside the Tabernacle and immediately Julio is just amazed with what it looks like. He asked us, "What is this used for?" Sister Cano asked me to explain to him what we used the Tabernacle for. I went on to testify about how it was a place we got to hear from the Prophet. I asked him, "What is a Prophet to you personally?" He replied back that is was someone who speaks for God. I testified a little bit about Prophets and what they do to help us as God's children and why God would call a Prophet in the first place. I then asked, "What would it mean to you Julio, if you knew we had a Prophet on the earth today?" Julio replied back "That would be just marvelous and wonderful if we had a Prophet on the earth today." I testified back to him that we did indeed have a Prophet on the earth today just like how we had Prophets back in the Old Testament, etc. As I was testifying to him his countenance really started to change. He touched his chest and started saying something in Spanish that I didn't understand. Sister Cano looked at me and said, "He feels this really strong energy, Sister Skaggs, something really heavy and strong in his heart. He is just excited that we do have a prophet today." We testified that it was the spirit he was feeling. We asked if it would be okay if we showed him a presentation on families, that it was a presentation based off of a revelation that was given to a Prophet and the other leaders of the Church. As we took him to the Christus and God's Plan for His Family the spirit was just so strong. I haven't seen someone react the way he did in such a long time. Sister Cano and I both knew he was prepared. When we got through God's Plan we asked him several questions about what he liked and then I asked him, "Julio, what would it mean to you if you knew you could be with your family, those you love, for all Eternity?" Julio replied by saying, "It would be amazing." He spends as much time with his family that he can because he knows he won't have much time with them. We went on to testify to him that we know he can be with his family for all eternity and it is through the Temple that we make that happen. Sister Cano then started speaking Spanish to him and so I just sat there trying to discern the spirit. She then looked at me and said "Sister Skaggs, I invited him to stay in contact so we can share with him more. He says he wants all of this for his family and he wants all of his friends to hear about it to." I, at that point, started crying. This was a tender mercy from the Lord, allowing me to witness such a marvelous experience. To see this gentleman take the Gospel and accept it into his heart is something so remarkable. From hitting a super low moment just the day before, and for how hard it has been these past two weeks to then experiencing this, was something indescribable. When he went and filled out his information he just stopped and looked at us and said, "I can't describe what I'm feeling. When I saw you two walk up I just knew you two had something special about you." As he was saying this to us he was just holding his heart motioning to us he was feeling something. Meeting Julio yesterday is a moment I will never forget. I won't have the opportunity to teach him and share the Gospel with him any further but it doesn't matter. Either way, the Lord will take care of him. I'm just grateful to the Lord for allowing me to witness such a marvelous miracle. I truly do know that as we continue to be diligent and hold on, looking towards Christ, all will be well. As Sister Cano and I walked away we just both started crying as we recognized what the Lord allowed us to encounter and as we knew what I had personally been going through these past two weeks and as I was allowed to witness such a marvelous miracle.
I know the Lord is there. I know he is aware of us and our needs. I can testify with my whole heart that as we hold on and hang in there and just go a little bit further and continue to just take that step of faith, the Lord will provide. We won't always see clearly or know when a trial will end but as we continue to persevere the Lord will show us the light. We will be able to get out of the wilderness of spiritual darkness. I know that with the Lord ALL things are possible. We MUST have faith in him. We honestly can't go through life unless we have faith in him. I just want to ask you this question, Who is my Spiritual Light when I traverse through my own spiritual wilderness? Is it Christ?
I love you all! I feel so blessed to know each of you and to have you in my life! I'm so grateful for the gospel and for the blessing it is in my life!
Love ALWAYS!
Sister Skaggs
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